You don’t have to be a Montague or a Capulet to understand that names really do matter. Especially in the age of the internet and the search engine. So when I jumped on the bandwagon as late as I did, I knew that I was supposed to come up with a good name for my blog. Even if no one read it but me (and so far I see that the kind of splash I have been making is the kind sought after by an olympic diver) I still hoped to come up with something that, even if it was not that clever, was pleasant, simple and descriptive of what my blog was supposed to be about.
Again, having arrived in the blogosphere about 15 years after everybody else, I had no idea, when I opened up my account with WordPress that virtually every word in the English language had been previously paired with “.com” and was already registered.
I tried out Harvard2Housewife for a while before I realized that a very similar, though technically not identical site, HarvardHousewife.com, was already being used. Furthermore, this name generated such a backlash from my audience (i.e. my friend Bonnie) that I knew I had to change it. In fact, when Bonnie reads this post, I can already hear how pissed she is going to be that I am even referencing that cold, dark, twenty minutes when my blog title was “pretentious, condescending, and wholly inappropriate” (a collection of adjectives which coincidentally does describe at least one instructor I had in college).
Furthermore, Bonnie instructed me that “mother” had to be in the title. This was painful in that it forced me to acknowledge the true “genre” of my work. Not that I thought I was writing the next Ulysses or even the next Fifty Shades of Grey but there was a part of me that died of embarrassment in acknowledging that what I aspired to do, (i.e. write a mommyblog), had already been done ten million times and according to most people (i.e. all people) did not need to be done again.
Then I thought, maybe, I should just write under “getoveryourself.com”
But that, too, was taken.
After several more hours of trying, I learned that “caffinatedmother.com” was available. I was very happy until I learned how to spell “caffeinated.”
Desperate to come up with other alternatives, I dragged out my Mirriam Webster Dictionary, which I had purchased when “Google” was just a “1” with one hundred zeroes behind it. I closed my eyes, opened up a page, and pointed. I figured that whatever term I landed on would be the one I would pair with “mother” and that would be the name I settled on. It would also be properly spelled.
When I opened my eyes, I was pointing to “savings and loan.”
So I tried again.
The second time I was pointing to “socket.” I spent a minute wondering whether MotherSocket would work. Maybe. I only have one eye so I am one of a select group of mothers who knows what the inside of an eye socket looks like. And there was no denying that my one-eyedness was a central part of my identity. Especially in grade school when I spent a fair amount of time entertaining my friends (and horrifying a certain poor French teacher) by taking out my prosthetic eye. So in a way, MotherSocket was fitting. Then again, the last time any one of my friends thought it was “cool” to see the inside of my head we were all about 11 years old. And, while I will still “take my eye out” for people who really want to see it, I haven’t been getting a lot of requests lately. Nope. MotherSocket was too disturbing. I will say, though, that a 40 year old lady running around without an eye is a lot less scary than your average, two-eyed circus clown.
So I opened the dictionary a third time and landed on “jam.” A little random. But cute, actually. “MotherJam” had a better ring to it that “Mothersavingsandloan” and, surprisingly, MotherJam.com was not previously registered.
Unless you are driving during rush hour or digging under your toenail, who doesn’t love a good jam? Generally speaking, “jam” is a good thing and hopefully MotherJam.com is pretty good, too. Besides, “cyclops.com” is already taken.
I hope you enjoy it. Feel free to spread it around.