While waiting in line at Whole Foods (and by waiting I mean that I was standing in line and my children were chasing each other in circles around the poor, bewildered lady behind me who was holding a dozen mini quiche and who probably had much better behaved children) my son asked me:
“Can I get a soda? Can I get gum? What is it like to be dead? and Why is Apple Jack’s little sister the only one [on My Little Pony] who doesn’t have a cutie mark?”
I was trying to find my wallet which, given its large size, has a surprising ability to resorb into the recesses of my purse. (Other items, like teenage mutant ninja figurines, polly pocket princesses, and unsharpened pencils, have surprisingly buoyant properties, and are always at the ready, however.)
I answered, “No gum. No soda. I don’t know about being dead or getting a cutie mark.
Finally, I had managed to excavate my wallet. As I withdrew it, I saw that It had a horrifying length of used dental floss clinging to it.
My son, having stopped running temporarily, yanked on my arm and yelled. “Hey! No fair! You never let me have gum! And you never tell me what it is like when you are dead!”
I wonder whether Angela the cashier is going to laugh, take pity, or summon child protective services. None of the above, fortunately. But she does reprimand me with a scolding glare after I confess that (once again), I have forgotten to bring my own earth friendly bags for the groceries.